My Sister... My Sisters

"When I look at you, I see myself. If my eyes are unable to see you as my sister, it is because my own vision is blurred. And if that be so, then it is I who need you either because I do not understand who you are, my sister, or because I need you to help me understand who I am."

-Lillian P. Benbow

And if I cannot see you... And if I do not view you... And if I cannot fathom you... then it is you who needs to teach me, the academic, the scholar, the resident of the upper echelon... Black women have always been characterized as strong. The mule of the world goes well with the moniker of strength. We build, we create, we nurture. We are mother nature, and we are the God's greatest creation. Now, we have no problem with referring to ourselves as such, the problem comes in when we are forced to look at another woman, and ascertain her particular value.

We belittle, we talk-down, we condescend. We look in pity at the woman who has to live in the projects, we ignore the woman who cuts the grass on our pristine campus, we deny a role to the woman to serves in the university cafeteria. We only value the women who we believe can teach us something, or offer us something else. Women who we do not see to hold any value are discarded as useless and "beneath" us. But who are we to assign value?

The woman in the projects is the mother of our future. The woman mowing the lawn is a grandmother to your student. The woman taking your order is the sister of a future scholar. God has given each a measure of talent to be used for the upbuilding and enrichment of the kingdom. The welfare mother has been given a talent, just as the neurophysicist.

The essential building blocks for black womanhood rest in the phenomenalness of our womenhood. It is the rise of our breasts, and the curve of our spine. It rests in the power of our voice, and the softness of our cry. It rests in the sway of our hips, and the joy in our thighs. It rests in the curl of our hair, and the brown in our eye. It rests in me, and rests in you.

The change I seek, starts with me.

Having enough life for life

How do you decide what it is you want to do for the rest of your life? As a child, we create grandiose dreams for our futures. We want to be doctors, lawyers, and presidents. Then life steps in and we change our minds. We grow and we expand and become new people while holding onto the dreams of our childhood. We grow and realize that we can't add as well we though so being a scientist is out of the picture. We grow and realize that we don't like blood, so being a doctor is out of the picture. Someone finally lets us know that being a lawyer takes years of study and reading so we no longer want to pursue a career in law... And then we come to this point:

What is it that fills our heart with joy? What are you so passionate about that you would do it for free? What is your calling?

Then comes the choices. You are good at several different things because God has blessed you with many talents. You can read, write, plan, and add, so now what? Should you become a professor? A writer? A motivational speaker? Or do you branch out, think bigger, plan harder? Do you realize that setting your sights on the simple or the simply acceptable is disrespecting all that God has put into you?

Where do you place all your emphasis? If you want several degrees, are you supposed to go and get each of them? Or should you buckle down, stop being flightly and just do the first thing that you're good at?

As a child, we never know what we really want to do. We know what we see on television and that frames our aspirations. If you have seen doctors, lawyers, or even rappers on television, that is where our career ideals come from. The 80's generation saw the Cosby show, the 90's generation saw Living Single, the 2000's see Being Bobby Brown. So children grow up having no role models, and no real dreams... Only dreams predicated on superhuman abilities... Football or basketball players, or rappers.... Where have the dreams gone? And what will we do? How do you choose?