Social Networking Fast

Although I was able to achieve and maintain near perfect grades in graduate school even after the advent of Twitter, I admit that I have become overly dependent on social networking. I call the people I follow on Twitter my friends and share some of the more intimate details of my life with them. I rarely make phone calls or check my voicemail messages because I assume people will just tweet me or facebook me.

Well, I am going on a break from social networking.

No Facebook, no Twitter. I am going to remove all notifications from both sites and uninstall the mobile applications. I need to find what is missing and I believe that is real connections. Maybe getting off will cause me to go out in the world and reclaim the friends I have been avoiding. For me, social networking was a cop out. I was able to retreat into the virtual world in an effort to not deal with the actual world. It's easier to appear social if you never have to leave the house. I don't want to become a hermit, but I have hermit-like tendencies.

So tomorrow I am going to leave my house. Maybe go sit at Lake Ella, take a book, read for a while and just enjoy all that outside has to offer. After that, I am going to return home and pick up one of the books on my summer reading list. Monday, I will go get my GRE fee reduction certificate and print off some papers I need to work on. Matter of fact, I will add my personal statement and writing sample to the mix so I can edit those as well. So for at least the next week, my life will be circa 2006 before the advent of Facebook and Twitter. I am going out to face the world with bravery and courage.

I will have a personal photoshoot of me and the elements. The ducks at Lake Ella. The sun in the sky. I will wish upon a star and remember what life used to be like.

I hate that I am always home. So starting tomorrow, I won't be...

See you all in the real world.

So What if I Am A Black Woman?

See, black women are sensitive creatures. Dealing with the legacy of slavery, oppression, and racism will do that to you. Black women are used to being the mules of the world and having been so ordered, these women carry everyone. They carry families, friends, finances, failure, faith, you name it, a black woman has carried it. Black women are used to being the first one on the scene and the last one to leave the scene. However, even with the work ethic of the black woman, the recognition is also the least. Mules get no credit. Not a thank you for the hard work. No thanks for carrying Sir wherever he needed to go. Historically speaking, mules get no love, no appreciation, no decoration. The Bible makes it clear that mules are the last on the totem pole because the Bible makes a big deal about Jesus riding in on a donkey. I guess when the King of Kings utilizes the lowest of the low, it's something to be noted.

In this same manner, the world uses black women. When the media wants to show anger, they profile an "angry black woman." When the media wants to spotlight loneliness, they profile a "single black woman." When the news wants to show fear, they profile a "lonely black woman." Ghetto? See "black woman." Dang, black women are the worst of the worst.

Or are they?

Faith? Who has carried the black church since its inception? The black woman. Success? Who has taken care of house, home, and her career? The black woman. You see, the black woman does it all and never asks for gratitude. The black woman never does what she wants to do, but always what she has to do.

And now, black women are the new "hot topic." The one on everyone's mind. The media is beginning to wonder if the black woman will be able to recover from the latest onslaught of negative attention.

Guess what?

We have, we will, and will again. #CheckOurLegacy

We are:

Harriet Tubman

Ida B Wells

Mary Church Terrell

Dorothy Irene Height

Mary McLeod Bethune

Oprah Winfrey

Toni Morrison

Michelle Obama

Alice Walker

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Zora Neale Hurston

Google us.

So what if I am a black woman?

To Become a Voice You Have Start Talking

My blog is going to take a different direction... To become a voice I have to start talking so I'm going to start blogging on issues that are of import to me. Look out for a coming post about the state of black womanhood. The supposed scarcity of positive black male/black female relationships. I am compiling examples and preparing my viewpoint as we speak.

After You've Done All You Can

Today my Pastor preached about continuing on the journey after wanting to give up. He said that discouragement comes after you've made progress and you can see your destination in front of you. He said that when the vision is coming to pass after it has tarried and you have waited for it, that is the perfect time for everything to go wrong, go amuck, and go bad. I know exactly what's he's talking about.

This week was a trying one for me. After spending $100 dollars I had not planned for, I received an e-mail from Howard about the fellowship I had been given. It turns out that when it was time to actually assign fellowships, there was not enough funding for mine. So I have been accepted into a doctoral program but there's no money for me to go. Well I've been telling people that I'm going and I have made plans to move but is there still a reason for me to go? My mom said there is a blessing waiting for me in DC but does she know that the money isn't available. I know I am supposed to a doctorate. I know my PhD was written into my life story when I was being formed in the womb. Is the timing wrong? Normally I would start doubting myself and think that I must not deserve to go but this time I will remain focused and faithful. The God I know can do anything but fail. He has not failed me yet and He will not fail me now. I don't know how He's going to do it but I trust He will not leave me nor will He forsake me. I will endure and enjoy the season I'm in.

Going forward I still don't know what I'm going to do. I have no idea where the funding will come from or where I will live when I arrive in DC. All I know that a walk of faith does not look at what is front, but what opportunity God has to do what only He is able to do. The Bible says, "hope that is seen is not hope at all." With that being sad, I will not be afraid for God has not given me the spirit of fear. I have power, I have love, and I have a sound mind.

God does His best work when it looks impossible.

Do I stay or do I go???

The Embodiment of Change: Dr. Dorothy Height

Dr. Dorothy Irene Height, who I affectionately call "Dorothy Irene," has rested from her labor today. In Dr. Mary McLeod-Bethune's last will and testament these words are transcribed,

I leave you love... I leave you hope.

I leave you the challenge of developing confidence in one another.

I leave you a thirst for education.

I leave you a respect for the use of power.

I leave you faith.

I leave you racial dignity.

I leave you a desire to live harmoniously with your fellow man.

I leave you, finally, a responsibility to our young people.

These words were from Dr. Bethune but they are also applicable to the venerable Dr. Height. For she leaves us all these things and more.

Dr. Height's leaving has left a void as wide as a sea in my heart. She was my very first role model. The very first woman I looked up to. I mean, she had done so much and accomplished so much more than I revered her. When I read "In Search of Sisterhood," her name stood out. See, Dr. Height was the president of Delta Sigma Theta for nine years. Yes, nine. And I do believe Delta has a one-term limit. And then she became president of the National Council of Negro Women for about forty years. You see, Dr. Height was the quintessential leader. She not only worked for change, but she worked with change-agents. She marched alongside Dr. King, she listened to Malcolm, she was even escorted onto the platform when our current President, Barack Obama, was inaugurated. She saw it all in her 98 years of not just life, but living.

She did more than talk about "being the change," she was the change.

I was at inauguration with her. I was nowhere near her but I was in the same vicinity. As I watched them bring out my role model, my eyes filled. I had no idea she would even be there. She was given the treatment of a queen as she came out silently but full of vigor. Dr. Height lived a full life but she was also full of life. She was full of spirit. Full of spunk.

With her passing she leaves a legacy. She leaves a legacy of service. She leaves a legacy of commitment. She leaves us with determination. If I were to write her epitaph, it would read these words:

Here lies change.

Here lies hope.

Here lies freedom.

Here lies love.

Here lies dedication,

Determination,

Perseverance,

and poise.

Here lies an inspiration.

Rest in Promise, Dr. Dorothy Irene Height

We have lost a soldier but the war continues.

I'll miss you. See you when I get there.

Well Damn (In My Gucci Voice)

I have no intention on becoming one of those people who blogs every day. And I know I blogged last night. However, as Gucci Mane said, "Well damn."

Such a prolific and rhema phrase. Rhema is a Bible-word that means, "on time." And see, today was one of those days where all I could say is, "Damn." I woke up this morning and decided to come to campus early. There was no parking at my usual spot (big ups to Kianta Key) so I proceeded to my second spot. Came back later and my car was gone. Poof. Disappeared. In other words, you guessed it; I got towed. And it would be 100 dollars to get my car back. In addition to this unplanned expenditure, I got a ticket for 50 dollars at the same time. I paid the 100 dollars, I already didn't have, mind you, and got Jireh (my Accord) back. Then I went to stand in a stupidly long line for my cap and gown and received that. Got home to relax my mind for a second and realized I didn't have a stole (the Kente cloth with the university name and graduation year) so I had to go back to the stupidly long line. Went to class and left early to attend my very last Senate meeting as a senator. Put the key in the ignition, turned it over, and NOTHING. Not a whisper, not a purr, not a click. WELL DAMN. As if the 100 dollar tow wasn't enough. Or the 50 dollar ticket wasn't enough. Now I can add a starter to the list of unplanned expenses.

Normally I would have a piss poor attitude right now. But I have no choice but to look at all the good things in my life. I was accepted into a PhD program, graduation is next week, my lights are on, all my bills are relatively current. So why am I even thinking about complaining? Most of us base our lives on the things we don't have instead of focusing on the things we have. For everything I think I need and do not possess, there are two things I have but do not need. So I'm grateful. Even though I hear Gucci saying, "Well damn," when he hears about my day, I am comforted by the Mary Mary line, "It will all be worth it."

One day I will reminiscence about the time my car battery died. Or the time the window stopped rolling down. Or the time the car seat stopped adjusting. Or the hot air that blows out when I turn on the AC. Or the time a charger was pulled out of the cigarette lighter and the whole lighter came with it. One day I will be riding down the street laughing about the time my car was half of my age. But not today... Today I'll just say, "Damn."

In a Sentimental Mood

Doesn't it make your heart smile when you find a song that says the very words you can't put into words? Tonight, Duke Ellington and John Coltrane are doing just that because I am in a sentimental mood. One of my guy friends, strictly platonic, came over and we had a conversation about life, and love, and loss, and all things in between. We laughed and joked and watched "Brothers and Sisters." I mused about friendship and gave my spiel about collegiates not making (m)any real friends during their matriculation. Of course me being the person I am, I digressed and we began to talk, well I began to talk about ministry.

I was called to ministry in April of 2006 but I did not accept my calling until January 2007. As many ministers know, the calling to ministry is one that we question. Some ministers out there might still be questioning God. Some days, the person asking the questions is me. Well, I was telling my friend about how good church was today and how I was able to pray without fear because God's voice spoke through me. You see, ministry is scary. Knowing that lives are tied to mine is enough to make me grab my purse and run for the hills. But I stayed. And I continue to stay. You see, somewhere along this walk, God reminded me that ministry is not about me. He reminded me that He equipped me with the necessary tools to be successful because His spirit is all I need. His voice is the one I use to speak a word to His people. My obedience has no tangible reward for me, it impacts those God has guided into my path.

I remember not being able to recollect my motivation to attend church. It was during a period in 2008 when I could not find the willpower to press my way to the tabernacle. I was lost but I didn't want to be found. Most ministers believe that if they ignore their calling, it'll go away. Yeah, it definitely doesn't. I found myself ministering to friends even when I didn't want to. I found myself speaking a word in and out of season for the weary and heavy-laden. You see, God had still empowered me to speak peace into situations. God still used me.

I hid from God and He found me.

I lost myself in myself but He found me.

And for that,

I am In A Sentimental Mood

PUSHing Through Our Legacy

The last week was a very interesting one for me. After the I Am A Man: A Forum for Black Men event, I approached Kianta Key about planning a similar event for the women on FAMU's campus. We brainstormed and came up with an idea about the legacy of black women; past, present, and future. We planned to invite older women and younger women to come together to discuss the roles of black women in society and what we could do to change the perceptions of our women. Well, by the time we got to the week of the event, most of our planning had changed. It became a week of events with community service and an all-star panel and a bruncheon keynoted by Rae Lewis-Thornton. You see Kianta is a seer. She has the creative mind that takes an idea and makes it an event. She was able to expand my 3,500 dollar idea and make it a 53,000 affair. We hosted Chrisette Michele, FAMU alum Meredith Clark, entrepreneur LaShawnna Stanley, journalist Helena Andrews, and noted relationship expert, Dr. Michelle Callahan. The turn out was tremendous and I believe we changed someone's life.

By the time the forum rolled around, I didn't even want to see it. Having worked on it, all I wanted to do was have it happen. It mattered not if I was able to partake in it. When the program finally started, my heart started to beat wildly because it was actually happening. My vision was becoming reality. I think that's how childbirth is. When the baby is in the womb, he/she is not really real. It's not until the labor pains start that it begins to sink in the magnitude of what you are doing. You have created life. I feel the same way about my idea. I am so grateful to everyone who worked with me on the idea and helped to make history with me. I pray for the people who come after us and try to recreate our vision. I pray their strength in the Lord right now. Most importantly, I thank God for vision and the will to see it through.

And now I can graduate and go on to Howard, or Georgia State, and get my doctorate of philosophy in English Literature with a concentration in African-American Literature.

Time to make history again

Look what God has done

*ACCEPTED*

*CONGRATULATIONS*

*DOCTORAL*

I received an e-mail letting me know that I have been informally accepted to the Howard University graduate school for doctoral study in English Literature with a concentration in African-American Literature.

I am overwhelmed with joy.

I am humbled by the honor.

I am going to attend the same school that Toni Morrison did.

Zora Neale Hurston...

Sherley Anne Williams...

God has done more than exceedingly and abundantly...

God has done more than I could have asked

thought

or even imagined...

Man, I'm so blessed.

Look what God has done

Nevertheless

"Order my steps"

"Take my heart and mold it"

"I'll go where you want me to go"

There is a verse in the Bible, for reference purposes it is in Matthew, chapter 26, verse 39, and it reads, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." I have read this verse of scripture many times as I take it to be the most important verse in the most important chapter of the entire Bible. I believe "nevertheless" to be the most important word in the entire Bible and my reasoning comes from this passage of scripture. You see Jesus had changed His mind. It was too much, it was too hard, it hurt too bad to be the Son of God coming back to save mankind. By this time Jesus knew that His time was running out and soon it would be time for His life on Earth to end. He had called some of His closest friends, a few of the disciples, to be with Him but they kept falling asleep. When Jesus needed a friend, He found Himself alone. I know what it's like to need to talk to someone but it seems as if everyone is "asleep." Too busy with their own issues and troubles to be a friend to me. So Jesus prayed. He decided to talk to the only real friend He knew, His father. Jesus had decided that since no one was there for Him on Earth, He would not be able to be there for them in Eternity. Jesus had changed His mind about being the Savior. But then He prayed, and He remembered that His purpose was bigger than Him. He remembered that His calling needed to be fulfilled. That His purpose remained to be completed. Jesus decided that He still loved the world even though the world did not love Him. Jesus said, "nevertheless." And that "nevertheless" saved salvation from utter damnation.

I am sitting in my living room coming down from a phenomenal high. I was able to meet and greet Susan Taylor, former Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine, Dr. Cornel West, author of Race Matters and Princeton professor, and George Clinton, the father of funk. As I sat here, I let the information I had just received process for a minute. Each of the speakers discussed how important it is to change the world we live in. Taylor spoke of mentoring, Dr. West spoke about love, another panelist, Hezekiah Griggs, spoke about being true to oneself and not letting any negativity deter us from our goals. As I began to soak up the information, I looked back over my life. I started to think about my "nevertheless" moments. When I was put out of school and thought "Nevertheless, I will graduate." When I was blacklisted at my church, I thought, "Nevertheless, I will minister." When my car did not start, I thought, "Nevertheless, there is still work to be done." I talk with my friends a lot about living purpose-filled and purpose-driven lives but I will never know the impact my rambling truly has on them. They always tell me that they are listening and that they hear me but it has yet to be seen if I have really affected them. I mentor five people in my organization and they say they love me but once again, I have yet to see the fruit of our relationship. Tonight, that all changed.

I was sitting in my living room and a tweet comes through in my @mentions. It was from a young man and he said, "I read your blog, I think you are an amazing writer and have an amazing story." He touched my heart because I never even know he was watching. I never knew he saw me, but I have touched his life in some way and for that I am grateful. You see, "nevertheless" has allowed me to be purposed so my work is anointed. My life is a testament to the grace of God. I do not take credit for anything I have done or any life God has tethered to mine. I give credit to the only one worthy of my praise and adoration. Had it not been for the hand of God on my life, my story could be so much different. Had it been up to me, I would have been three different types of statistics... But by the grace of God go I. And nevertheless, I will continue to do what God has called me to do. This life I live is so much bigger than me.

Going back, back to natural

Most people go natural because their hair is breaking or because they want to try something different. I am going natural, albeit again, because I want my daughters to know they are beautiful without having to have a relaxer. I want my daughters to look in the mirror and see the natural beauty they possess.

I decided to go natural in March of 2007 with a made-up mind and nothing else. I immediately began to transition by wearing braids that I would get redone every month. I did not trim off the relaxer ends because I was not really sure if natural was truly what I wanted to do. Being from Miami, the weave capital of the South, I was sure I would be met with resistance by friends and family. Since I have always been one to not really listen to what other thought about me, I wasn't really afraid but I did have my own second thoughts. In March of 2008 I started to wear my hair out but for graduation, and my birthday for that matter, I got a sew-in because I still trusted straight hair more than I did my natural hair. Over the summer of 2008 I wore my hair out and began to get used to my natural hair. One of the best parts about being natural was being able to play with my hair all day. With a relaxer, the hair always has to look "just right" so there is no opportunity to tease the hair throughout the day. I relished the opportunity to twist and twirl my hair. Having had relaxed hair for the majority of my life, I had no idea what to do with natural hair so I wore a puff everyday... Every single day. The most styling I would ever do was attempt to part my hair, which never really worked, but I would try. In the spring of 2009, I pressed my hair to see how it looked. It was really frizzy and fuzzy-looking so I washed my hair. Lo and behold, the back left side of my hair would not curl up. I did not think my hair was long enough to cover up the straight part of my hair so I made the decision to relax my hair. In the March of 2009, I relaxed my hair.

So here we are now. It is now March of 2010 and I have made the decision to go natural again. This time, I will not press my hair until at least my second year of being natural. I don't think my hair was ready for me to press it the last time and this time it might also be better if I went to a professional instead of standing in the mirror with a cheap flat iron.

There are also a few other things I will be doing differently this time. I will not comb my hair as much so I can give my curl time to develop. I will not blow dry my hair after I get out the shower but rather let my hair air dry, again for curl development purposes. Since I already use really good hair care products, Keracare, I will continue to use the same products on my natural hair as I do on my relaxed hair. I am doing my BC, big chop, after two months instead of after a year as I did the first time. This time I will have less hair to work with but then that will give me the freedom I am looking for.

So now I am transitioning to natural and excited. I am constantly looking up videos on YouTube for tips on how to transition and also instructional videos for hairstyles I might want to try. I'll continue to update as I progress...

A letter... with love

#DearFutureHusband,

I love you already. I don't know you. I might have never you before but I love you. I love the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you say my name. I love the way you let me cry, the way you dry my eyes, I way you let me lie... in your arms. I love that you wake up before I do. I love that you know how I like my coffee, when I drink it. I love that you start the car in the winter and you take the trash out every day. I love you pray with me and for me and without me and about me. I love that you thank God for me as I do you. I love that you support me in everything I do, even if you do not agree. I love that you debate with me. I love that you tell me to be quiet and make me want to shut up. I love that you tap me on shoulder. I love that you ask to roll over. I love that you steal the covers. I love that you're a brother. I love you more than words can ever express. I love that you love me when I'm a mess.

I love that God is preparing you for me right now. I love that you are my soul mate, my lover, and my friend. I love you in so many ways. I have loved you for so many days. I am trusting God that you are mine and I am yours.

You are my hope

You are my faith

You are my trust

You are my love

This is a love letter to you... Wherever you are. Whoever you are.

I love you

#DearFutureHusband

One of the current trending topics on Twitter is "#DearFutureHusband" and many of the women on Twitter are sharing some ideas they have about their future husband, what he should possess, and how he should treat them once they are married. I posted a few tweets but I am so disheartened about marriage that I could not work up the effort to truly participate in the trend...

Which leads me to this blog post...

I am 27 years old, educated, intelligent, goal-oriented, and well versed on many issues. I can hold a conversation, end a conversation, or change a subject with ease. My closest friends regard me as a scholar and learned thinkers believe me to be on my way to their status. But yet I am disheartened. As I approach my 28th year of life, the belief in my being married has dwindled exponentially. Maybe it's because I am single with no current prospects or maybe it is because I am fiercely independent, either way, I am beginning the doubt my own personal American dream.

A husband, 2.5 kids, a dog, white picket fence...

Prince Charming was supposed to sweep me off of my feet years ago, but years ago I was dating a man who promised me that he was single even after his fiancee called me. I have dated many men, tall, dark, smart, uneducated, big, skinny, country and refined but I always end up right where I am now. Single... Is the problem me? It could be but if the man God has for me was made for me then I can't miss him, can I?

The statistics say that most black women will be single for the overwhelming majority of their lives if not their entire lives.

So what about the women who are like me? Are we even more likely to be single forever?

Oh the thoughts that race through my cranium...

Sidebar: This was supposed to be a love letter to my future husband...

Friends vs. "Friends"

So today's post is kind of complicated...

Kind of reflective...

Kind of...

Necessary...

So let's go...

So most days I sit in my house and I think about things... Most days my mind goes a million miles a minute and I think about more things than I care to remember. Today's thought was related to the friendships that I have. So I came to Florida A & M in the fall of 2001, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ready for everything and prepared for nothing. With me, came 26 other young Miami Central Rockets coming in like a flood and taking no prisoners. Since there were so many of us, there was no need for any of us to get to know anyone else. In my apartment-style dorm in Palmetto Street South apartments, I was assigned to room with a friend I had known since elementary school. There were also four other women in our "house" and we all got to know each other pretty well. We were pretty far from campus so we very rarely came to the top of the Hill to participate in any freshmen activities. Fast forward five years later, I was re-enrolling in classes at the university and 95% of my old friends were gone. The only one left was graduating in the fall of that year.

It was time to make new friends...

In the spring of the next year I applied for a position on the Executive branch of the Student Government Association. Knowing nothing about student government, except for what we had done in high school, which was nothing like the mini-government I stumbled upon on the 2nd floor of the Student Union building, I was ill-prepared for the position. I applied for a secretary position and received deputy. Not knowing the difference until later, I accepted and began to work. Needless to say, I met a lot of people and gained new relationships, friendships, and associations.

Which brings me to the meat of this diatribe...

Are friends we meet/make in political circles really friends? Sometimes I watch the way new "friends" interact with each other and my answer is a resounding, "no." The discussions I have with new circle and nowhere near the life-changing conversations I used to have. Don't get me wrong, I love many of new friends but most times it just does not feel the same way it used to. I feel like many of these "friendships" are solely surface and convenience associations. Can I pour my heart out? Maybe. Can I share my secrets? Better question, after I share, will it still be a secret? If I were pregnant, who would I call? If I got arrested, would it become a trending topic on Twitter?

Simply put, I miss having real friends...

Here We Are Again

Sitting in the bed... Thinking again... I hate it when this happens... All the thoughts I try so hard to hide come out at night... They pester me to solve their inherent problems... In the daytime, I can laugh my troubles away... Nap my troubles away, but at night... When the sky is darkest, my heart begins to trouble me... So here we are again...

There is a pain so deep in my heart and I cannot find the will to stop the pain... All I really need is decisive determination but I cannot figure out if I am missing the decisiveness or the determination. You see, I am in love with a man... I have been in love with this man for as long as I can remember loving. Others have come and others have gone but he's still here. Serving no apparent purpose but he is as sure as sunshine. I have given up trying to figure out if he loves me because if he did, we would not be here right now. We would be somewhere loving each other. I am simply a constant in his life. A reminder of the time when life was uncomplicated, when loving was easy as saying the word. Now our lives are filled with doing and being and there is a comfort we find in each other than we can not replicate anywhere. So yes, I love him. I have loved him and I will love him.

This love is unhealthy for so many reasons. He distracts me from anything and everything that I attempt to accomplish. He is my muse but I cannot let him go so I can be productive with the inspiration. He consumes my heart, my mind, and my spirit. He is as near to me as my latest thought, but as far from me as a long-distance phone call. My mind has frozen all the good times and laughter we have shared while ignoring the tears I have cried, the words I have yelled, and the promises I made to myself. And others for that matter...

Every time I am clear of him, I promise I am done with him. I make up in my mind to never allow myself to fall so deeply into him again. To not allow his words or his reminiscences to cloud my memory... and undermine my judgment... But then he comes to me... and envelops me... and gives me all the attention I need. He makes me laugh again and I forget that he has made me cry.

This is the type of love that lasts forever...

And that, my friend, is a very bad thing.

New year, new me

Well, it's January... I mailed off my application to Howard two weeks ago, and I mailed off my fellowship application a couple of hours ago... It is now time for faith to do its perfect work... It is now out of my hands and into my father's hands... I am trusting that what I have for myself aligns with what God has for me. I am trusting my will aligns with God's will...

Nervously, I am in preparation for the next phase of my life. Life without Robert, life without sunny Florida that I have always called my home. Tallahassee has been near and dear to my heart for the past nine years but it appears that my time here is winding down. I have loved every moment of this journey and embrace with open arms the part that is to come. I am so glad God has blessed me with the peace of mind to accept what He ordains...

I never thought I would be where I am now... I never thought about I would love how I have loved... But I am better for each and every experience I have had... I am stronger and wiser... I am closer to my dreams... And farther from my nightmares... Failure is the one thing that scares me the most... And with every God-ordained accomplishment, failure becomes a smaller possibility...

I love my life... I love who I am... I love who God is calling me to be...

I accept it... I embrace it... I relish the opportunity...

Descendant of a field slave to

DrDreezy