So What if I Am A Black Woman?

See, black women are sensitive creatures. Dealing with the legacy of slavery, oppression, and racism will do that to you. Black women are used to being the mules of the world and having been so ordered, these women carry everyone. They carry families, friends, finances, failure, faith, you name it, a black woman has carried it. Black women are used to being the first one on the scene and the last one to leave the scene. However, even with the work ethic of the black woman, the recognition is also the least. Mules get no credit. Not a thank you for the hard work. No thanks for carrying Sir wherever he needed to go. Historically speaking, mules get no love, no appreciation, no decoration. The Bible makes it clear that mules are the last on the totem pole because the Bible makes a big deal about Jesus riding in on a donkey. I guess when the King of Kings utilizes the lowest of the low, it's something to be noted.

In this same manner, the world uses black women. When the media wants to show anger, they profile an "angry black woman." When the media wants to spotlight loneliness, they profile a "single black woman." When the news wants to show fear, they profile a "lonely black woman." Ghetto? See "black woman." Dang, black women are the worst of the worst.

Or are they?

Faith? Who has carried the black church since its inception? The black woman. Success? Who has taken care of house, home, and her career? The black woman. You see, the black woman does it all and never asks for gratitude. The black woman never does what she wants to do, but always what she has to do.

And now, black women are the new "hot topic." The one on everyone's mind. The media is beginning to wonder if the black woman will be able to recover from the latest onslaught of negative attention.

Guess what?

We have, we will, and will again. #CheckOurLegacy

We are:

Harriet Tubman

Ida B Wells

Mary Church Terrell

Dorothy Irene Height

Mary McLeod Bethune

Oprah Winfrey

Toni Morrison

Michelle Obama

Alice Walker

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Zora Neale Hurston

Google us.

So what if I am a black woman?

To Become a Voice You Have Start Talking

My blog is going to take a different direction... To become a voice I have to start talking so I'm going to start blogging on issues that are of import to me. Look out for a coming post about the state of black womanhood. The supposed scarcity of positive black male/black female relationships. I am compiling examples and preparing my viewpoint as we speak.

After You've Done All You Can

Today my Pastor preached about continuing on the journey after wanting to give up. He said that discouragement comes after you've made progress and you can see your destination in front of you. He said that when the vision is coming to pass after it has tarried and you have waited for it, that is the perfect time for everything to go wrong, go amuck, and go bad. I know exactly what's he's talking about.

This week was a trying one for me. After spending $100 dollars I had not planned for, I received an e-mail from Howard about the fellowship I had been given. It turns out that when it was time to actually assign fellowships, there was not enough funding for mine. So I have been accepted into a doctoral program but there's no money for me to go. Well I've been telling people that I'm going and I have made plans to move but is there still a reason for me to go? My mom said there is a blessing waiting for me in DC but does she know that the money isn't available. I know I am supposed to a doctorate. I know my PhD was written into my life story when I was being formed in the womb. Is the timing wrong? Normally I would start doubting myself and think that I must not deserve to go but this time I will remain focused and faithful. The God I know can do anything but fail. He has not failed me yet and He will not fail me now. I don't know how He's going to do it but I trust He will not leave me nor will He forsake me. I will endure and enjoy the season I'm in.

Going forward I still don't know what I'm going to do. I have no idea where the funding will come from or where I will live when I arrive in DC. All I know that a walk of faith does not look at what is front, but what opportunity God has to do what only He is able to do. The Bible says, "hope that is seen is not hope at all." With that being sad, I will not be afraid for God has not given me the spirit of fear. I have power, I have love, and I have a sound mind.

God does His best work when it looks impossible.

Do I stay or do I go???

The Embodiment of Change: Dr. Dorothy Height

Dr. Dorothy Irene Height, who I affectionately call "Dorothy Irene," has rested from her labor today. In Dr. Mary McLeod-Bethune's last will and testament these words are transcribed,

I leave you love... I leave you hope.

I leave you the challenge of developing confidence in one another.

I leave you a thirst for education.

I leave you a respect for the use of power.

I leave you faith.

I leave you racial dignity.

I leave you a desire to live harmoniously with your fellow man.

I leave you, finally, a responsibility to our young people.

These words were from Dr. Bethune but they are also applicable to the venerable Dr. Height. For she leaves us all these things and more.

Dr. Height's leaving has left a void as wide as a sea in my heart. She was my very first role model. The very first woman I looked up to. I mean, she had done so much and accomplished so much more than I revered her. When I read "In Search of Sisterhood," her name stood out. See, Dr. Height was the president of Delta Sigma Theta for nine years. Yes, nine. And I do believe Delta has a one-term limit. And then she became president of the National Council of Negro Women for about forty years. You see, Dr. Height was the quintessential leader. She not only worked for change, but she worked with change-agents. She marched alongside Dr. King, she listened to Malcolm, she was even escorted onto the platform when our current President, Barack Obama, was inaugurated. She saw it all in her 98 years of not just life, but living.

She did more than talk about "being the change," she was the change.

I was at inauguration with her. I was nowhere near her but I was in the same vicinity. As I watched them bring out my role model, my eyes filled. I had no idea she would even be there. She was given the treatment of a queen as she came out silently but full of vigor. Dr. Height lived a full life but she was also full of life. She was full of spirit. Full of spunk.

With her passing she leaves a legacy. She leaves a legacy of service. She leaves a legacy of commitment. She leaves us with determination. If I were to write her epitaph, it would read these words:

Here lies change.

Here lies hope.

Here lies freedom.

Here lies love.

Here lies dedication,

Determination,

Perseverance,

and poise.

Here lies an inspiration.

Rest in Promise, Dr. Dorothy Irene Height

We have lost a soldier but the war continues.

I'll miss you. See you when I get there.

Well Damn (In My Gucci Voice)

I have no intention on becoming one of those people who blogs every day. And I know I blogged last night. However, as Gucci Mane said, "Well damn."

Such a prolific and rhema phrase. Rhema is a Bible-word that means, "on time." And see, today was one of those days where all I could say is, "Damn." I woke up this morning and decided to come to campus early. There was no parking at my usual spot (big ups to Kianta Key) so I proceeded to my second spot. Came back later and my car was gone. Poof. Disappeared. In other words, you guessed it; I got towed. And it would be 100 dollars to get my car back. In addition to this unplanned expenditure, I got a ticket for 50 dollars at the same time. I paid the 100 dollars, I already didn't have, mind you, and got Jireh (my Accord) back. Then I went to stand in a stupidly long line for my cap and gown and received that. Got home to relax my mind for a second and realized I didn't have a stole (the Kente cloth with the university name and graduation year) so I had to go back to the stupidly long line. Went to class and left early to attend my very last Senate meeting as a senator. Put the key in the ignition, turned it over, and NOTHING. Not a whisper, not a purr, not a click. WELL DAMN. As if the 100 dollar tow wasn't enough. Or the 50 dollar ticket wasn't enough. Now I can add a starter to the list of unplanned expenses.

Normally I would have a piss poor attitude right now. But I have no choice but to look at all the good things in my life. I was accepted into a PhD program, graduation is next week, my lights are on, all my bills are relatively current. So why am I even thinking about complaining? Most of us base our lives on the things we don't have instead of focusing on the things we have. For everything I think I need and do not possess, there are two things I have but do not need. So I'm grateful. Even though I hear Gucci saying, "Well damn," when he hears about my day, I am comforted by the Mary Mary line, "It will all be worth it."

One day I will reminiscence about the time my car battery died. Or the time the window stopped rolling down. Or the time the car seat stopped adjusting. Or the hot air that blows out when I turn on the AC. Or the time a charger was pulled out of the cigarette lighter and the whole lighter came with it. One day I will be riding down the street laughing about the time my car was half of my age. But not today... Today I'll just say, "Damn."

In a Sentimental Mood

Doesn't it make your heart smile when you find a song that says the very words you can't put into words? Tonight, Duke Ellington and John Coltrane are doing just that because I am in a sentimental mood. One of my guy friends, strictly platonic, came over and we had a conversation about life, and love, and loss, and all things in between. We laughed and joked and watched "Brothers and Sisters." I mused about friendship and gave my spiel about collegiates not making (m)any real friends during their matriculation. Of course me being the person I am, I digressed and we began to talk, well I began to talk about ministry.

I was called to ministry in April of 2006 but I did not accept my calling until January 2007. As many ministers know, the calling to ministry is one that we question. Some ministers out there might still be questioning God. Some days, the person asking the questions is me. Well, I was telling my friend about how good church was today and how I was able to pray without fear because God's voice spoke through me. You see, ministry is scary. Knowing that lives are tied to mine is enough to make me grab my purse and run for the hills. But I stayed. And I continue to stay. You see, somewhere along this walk, God reminded me that ministry is not about me. He reminded me that He equipped me with the necessary tools to be successful because His spirit is all I need. His voice is the one I use to speak a word to His people. My obedience has no tangible reward for me, it impacts those God has guided into my path.

I remember not being able to recollect my motivation to attend church. It was during a period in 2008 when I could not find the willpower to press my way to the tabernacle. I was lost but I didn't want to be found. Most ministers believe that if they ignore their calling, it'll go away. Yeah, it definitely doesn't. I found myself ministering to friends even when I didn't want to. I found myself speaking a word in and out of season for the weary and heavy-laden. You see, God had still empowered me to speak peace into situations. God still used me.

I hid from God and He found me.

I lost myself in myself but He found me.

And for that,

I am In A Sentimental Mood

PUSHing Through Our Legacy

The last week was a very interesting one for me. After the I Am A Man: A Forum for Black Men event, I approached Kianta Key about planning a similar event for the women on FAMU's campus. We brainstormed and came up with an idea about the legacy of black women; past, present, and future. We planned to invite older women and younger women to come together to discuss the roles of black women in society and what we could do to change the perceptions of our women. Well, by the time we got to the week of the event, most of our planning had changed. It became a week of events with community service and an all-star panel and a bruncheon keynoted by Rae Lewis-Thornton. You see Kianta is a seer. She has the creative mind that takes an idea and makes it an event. She was able to expand my 3,500 dollar idea and make it a 53,000 affair. We hosted Chrisette Michele, FAMU alum Meredith Clark, entrepreneur LaShawnna Stanley, journalist Helena Andrews, and noted relationship expert, Dr. Michelle Callahan. The turn out was tremendous and I believe we changed someone's life.

By the time the forum rolled around, I didn't even want to see it. Having worked on it, all I wanted to do was have it happen. It mattered not if I was able to partake in it. When the program finally started, my heart started to beat wildly because it was actually happening. My vision was becoming reality. I think that's how childbirth is. When the baby is in the womb, he/she is not really real. It's not until the labor pains start that it begins to sink in the magnitude of what you are doing. You have created life. I feel the same way about my idea. I am so grateful to everyone who worked with me on the idea and helped to make history with me. I pray for the people who come after us and try to recreate our vision. I pray their strength in the Lord right now. Most importantly, I thank God for vision and the will to see it through.

And now I can graduate and go on to Howard, or Georgia State, and get my doctorate of philosophy in English Literature with a concentration in African-American Literature.

Time to make history again

Look what God has done

*ACCEPTED*

*CONGRATULATIONS*

*DOCTORAL*

I received an e-mail letting me know that I have been informally accepted to the Howard University graduate school for doctoral study in English Literature with a concentration in African-American Literature.

I am overwhelmed with joy.

I am humbled by the honor.

I am going to attend the same school that Toni Morrison did.

Zora Neale Hurston...

Sherley Anne Williams...

God has done more than exceedingly and abundantly...

God has done more than I could have asked

thought

or even imagined...

Man, I'm so blessed.

Look what God has done