"Take my heart and mold it"
"I'll go where you want me to go"
There is a verse in the Bible, for reference purposes it is in Matthew, chapter 26, verse 39, and it reads, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." I have read this verse of scripture many times as I take it to be the most important verse in the most important chapter of the entire Bible. I believe "nevertheless" to be the most important word in the entire Bible and my reasoning comes from this passage of scripture. You see Jesus had changed His mind. It was too much, it was too hard, it hurt too bad to be the Son of God coming back to save mankind. By this time Jesus knew that His time was running out and soon it would be time for His life on Earth to end. He had called some of His closest friends, a few of the disciples, to be with Him but they kept falling asleep. When Jesus needed a friend, He found Himself alone. I know what it's like to need to talk to someone but it seems as if everyone is "asleep." Too busy with their own issues and troubles to be a friend to me. So Jesus prayed. He decided to talk to the only real friend He knew, His father. Jesus had decided that since no one was there for Him on Earth, He would not be able to be there for them in Eternity. Jesus had changed His mind about being the Savior. But then He prayed, and He remembered that His purpose was bigger than Him. He remembered that His calling needed to be fulfilled. That His purpose remained to be completed. Jesus decided that He still loved the world even though the world did not love Him. Jesus said, "nevertheless." And that "nevertheless" saved salvation from utter damnation.
I am sitting in my living room coming down from a phenomenal high. I was able to meet and greet Susan Taylor, former Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine, Dr. Cornel West, author of Race Matters and Princeton professor, and George Clinton, the father of funk. As I sat here, I let the information I had just received process for a minute. Each of the speakers discussed how important it is to change the world we live in. Taylor spoke of mentoring, Dr. West spoke about love, another panelist, Hezekiah Griggs, spoke about being true to oneself and not letting any negativity deter us from our goals. As I began to soak up the information, I looked back over my life. I started to think about my "nevertheless" moments. When I was put out of school and thought "Nevertheless, I will graduate." When I was blacklisted at my church, I thought, "Nevertheless, I will minister." When my car did not start, I thought, "Nevertheless, there is still work to be done." I talk with my friends a lot about living purpose-filled and purpose-driven lives but I will never know the impact my rambling truly has on them. They always tell me that they are listening and that they hear me but it has yet to be seen if I have really affected them. I mentor five people in my organization and they say they love me but once again, I have yet to see the fruit of our relationship. Tonight, that all changed.
I was sitting in my living room and a tweet comes through in my @mentions. It was from a young man and he said, "I read your blog, I think you are an amazing writer and have an amazing story." He touched my heart because I never even know he was watching. I never knew he saw me, but I have touched his life in some way and for that I am grateful. You see, "nevertheless" has allowed me to be purposed so my work is anointed. My life is a testament to the grace of God. I do not take credit for anything I have done or any life God has tethered to mine. I give credit to the only one worthy of my praise and adoration. Had it not been for the hand of God on my life, my story could be so much different. Had it been up to me, I would have been three different types of statistics... But by the grace of God go I. And nevertheless, I will continue to do what God has called me to do. This life I live is so much bigger than me.